Disney and The Story Of Menstruation

Thank goodness I’m not a girl. Having the fear of catching kooties from them as a child was one of my first developmental moments. The “touch-touch no trade-backs” rule near broke me on the recess field. Just like AIDS, there is no know cure for kooties except people forgetting that you have it. And the chances a 1st grader will forget you got tagged with kooties is slim. You have to wait like 5 hours before that happens and thats an eternity when you’re 7. Most kids won’t forget that you’ve gotten the ‘koots’ till after midnight when all children’s minds reset themselves when the clock strikes twelve. Then you’re back on the recess field ready to live through trauma again like a Clockwork Orange torture scenario.
A little secret I’ve held for a long time though was how jealous I was of girls when I saw they could ride side-saddle on a horse. Cowboys could only ride one way but girl cowboys (or female buckaroo) had at least two ways to ride a horse. Later did I find out that riding side-saddle is one of the most uncomfortable impractical ways to ride anything without a bussle, save for karma sutra-like activities you might engage in with a willing and able partner.
Speaking of cycles and blood-shed and getting twitterpated, Disney’s Pecos Bill cartoon was the first time I reconsidered recanting my opinion of the fairer sex and the contraction of kooties. That Slue Foot Sue was fine as dandelion wine, but beware of PYTs and BFFs. Sometimes your horse be cock-blockin’ from the badonkadonk.

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